Floundering Future

I loved a certain class that I took at UCSC. It was by far the most enlightening course that I had taken in college, which may be strange because it's Fairytale Studies. It was the first time that I had involved myself in every course material —I mean every single book, article, film, tv show— that the professor required of us. I didn't even blink. I did it with ease. And that has never happened to me... ever.

I loved the teacher, but I never talked to her. I was too outside of myself to think about what I really wanted. And I now know that I really wanted to be some sort of storyteller. I wanted to engulf myself in a language of fairytales (a language often overlooked because of it's "childish" connotation). There is so much we can learn about a culture and it's values by understanding the morals and context embedded into their stories. Some very obvious and others so subtle, but leave me in awe, all the same. Stories. That's what everything is made of. For what is the world if not from your eyes. Does it exist if you don't see it, hear it, sense it? And don't these senses simply transmit to you in a language you interpret and project to create more stories? I merely want to consciously create more stories.

I took this class 2 years ago, and I still think about it. And I think that says something. I'm compelled by the content and exploration of the truly dynamic nature that fairytales can provide us. I've been floundering for some time looking for direction... but I know that storytelling is something I want to pursue.

I thought I'd share my favorite assignment with you and what I wrote:

Re-write a traditional fairytale with the morals you wish it would project.

(I can't remember the exact assignment, but this is how I remembered it...)

Flounder Boy

A retelling of Hans Christian Andersen's The Little Mermaid.

Once upon a time, there was a quiet, young boy who was not remarkably strong or bright, but he was kind in all that he did. His father brought him onto one of the kingdom's finest fishing boats. There, the boy longed to learn his father's trade.

He wished, more than anything, to float upon the sea forevermore.

However, a cyclone capsized their fishing boat pulling the sailors down under. He swam with all his might. But his body grew stiff, and he began to drown. It seemed hopeless. But a great blue flounder witnessing the boy's struggle admired his persistence. So the fish caressed its scales against the boy's feet transforming them into a fish's tail. And as the flounder turned into a glacier white, the boy fainted into the abyss.

He survived as a merman.

A wandering mermaid Princess awakened the boy. She asked him who he was, but all he could remember was the white flounder. She took the boy to her kingdom where they grew to be the best of friends. The kingdom referred to him as "Flounder Boy", but she, the youngest Princess, called him Kyran after their ancient tongue. He was always there at her every beckon. She was desperately innocent and gullible, despite her poised authority. But it was her enormous eyes holding the capacity for wonder and tenderness that Kyran so admired.

He fell in love.

How much he wished to confess his love to her, but the words wouldn't slip. Through the years, they went on adventures of the sea, but the Princess wished, more than anything, to break through the surface and see the world of the land. When she came of age, she was permitted to go. Kyran accompanied her in her travels about the surface waters. Eventually, his love for her became too hard to bear. Upon the glaciers, he planned to tell the Princess, but a fleet of ships passing by distracted her. Mesmerized by such majestic vessels, she dove toward them. Kyran followed after her.

He swallowed his confession to her once more.

The festivities upon the ships were magnificent. "But what for?" they wondered. It was the Prince's birthday. The handsome Prince cocked his head high above the others. The sight of him repulsed Kyran, so he gazed upon his love who gazed upon— the Prince! Oh, how Kyran's heart crawled into the sand like the crabs. So quickly did the Prince steal away her heart. Without an exchange of words. Not even a glance. She was in love with the Prince.

He saw it in her eyes.

Kyran's grief spread like a— "Storm!" someone cried. And before long, the ships were overturned and all fell to the depths. A net dragged the Princess fast towards the bottom. Kyran went to free her, but she yelped, "Don't worry about me! Save him!" She pointed to her sinking prince. Reluctant, he darted after the Prince and carried him to shore. When the Princess was free, she swam to see the Prince and kissed him as he woke. Then, the kingdom guards spotted her, so she fled.

He watched her kiss him.

The Princess flooded Kyran's ears with her longing for the Prince. "We're perfect, you see! He's a prince, and I, a princess!" But with each day, her song waned without the Prince. "Oh, Kyran!" she cried. "If only I could be on land. Surely, he would love me then." He could not bear her sadness any longer.

He searched the seas hoping to appease his love's desire.

One day, he came upon a sunken ship. From within, a white flounder appeared. "White Fish!" the boy exclaimed. "Why can I only remember you from my past?" The fish laughed. "It is only courtesy to remember the face of your rescuer," said the fish, which proceeded to tell the boy how it had granted him with a gift to save his life. "You can live in the sea and upon the land whenever you wish." Kyran asked the great fish to grant the same gift to his friend, but— "I've used up all my charm! Look! I am without color," spoke the fish. Kyran's gloom returned. Sympathetic, the fish suggested, "Go meet the Sea Witch. She shall surely help you. But beware...”

He found the Sea Witch's lair.

She cackled, "I know your wishes! I'll have them true. Give me a human's voice, and she'll become as them, too!" But Kyran knew no human who would gladly give up their voice— "Oh, wait!" he exclaimed. He beached himself upon the shore. His tail dried and legs formed. And as a human, he cut off his tongue and dived back into the water. He gave it to the Sea Witch, and she gave him a vile. "Give it to the princess, but know: Before the third sunset, she must be truly loved by a human. If not, she must find another human to love her enough to die in her place before the next sunset’s end. Or, she will surely perish." Kyran wrote the witch's words upon a piece of coral, for he could no longer speak. And at the end of the note, he scribbled down what he could no longer say.

He wrote his love to her.

Kyran handed the vile and coral to the Princess. "I can be human!" she exclaimed. And before she read to the very end, she drank the vile, still unbeknownst of Kyran's love. Her fins split, and she began to drown, so Kyran rushed her towards the surface. The Mermaid Princess immediately began her pursuit of the Prince. She spent all day with him, rapt by his fine wares, eloquent speech, and soft complexion. He was amused by her beautiful voice and dancing skill, but the Prince had no intention of marrying the little girl. Despite this, he told her, "You are very lovely. Though, I must leave tomorrow to attend the princess's birthday of the faraway kingdom, do not worry. I shall return. And before tomorrow's sunset, we'll be married!" On the second day, she sung with glee and told Kyran all about the Prince, and how she'd marry him at sunset. He could not bear to see them married.

He left.

Meanwhile, the Prince was seduced by the power of the princess of the faraway kingdom. During the second sunset, he was betrothed to her, and abandoned the young mermaid Princess. Kyran returned as he had heard what had happened. He could not have her die. Upon the shore, she cried, "The Prince has married another! There is no way I will be loved by another human by sunset. Let alone have him die in my place. I shall surely perish.”

He smirked.

A thought amused Kyran so. He swam to the shore and dried his legs in the sand. Standing tall and bare as a human, he wobbled toward his love and kissed her. Before she could understand what he had done, he took the sharp blade of a shell and pierced his heart. Falling into the water, he became the foam.

He floated upon the sea forevermore.

*

After reading this, I know that my love for exploration in some fantastical form must continue.

It feels good to be pulled towards something... whatever it may be.